Find Your Fire: Training your mindset

Have you ever stopped to think about those sneaky little thoughts hiding in the depths of your mind? You know, the ones that whisper, "Don't aim too high. Stay cozy in your comfort zone. Dream big? Nah, that's too risky. What if you fail? Let's just wait and see..." Well, it’s time to kick those thoughts to the curb and start living up to your potential.

We've all had those thoughts, and believe me, I'm no exception. But every time I've mustered the courage to be authentic, to be true to myself and pursue my wildest dreams, incredible things have happened.

Your Negative Self-Talk is the Handbrake of Your Life

According to Dr. Carol Dweck, a leading researcher in motivation and author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, people with a "fixed mindset" believe their abilities are set in stone, while those with a "growth mindset" understand that they can develop their abilities through effort and perseverance. The difference? The fixed mindset limits you, while the growth mindset frees you to take risks and push your limits (Dweck, 2006).

Science backs this up. Studies have shown that our thoughts literally shape the physical structure of our brains. It’s called neuroplasticity, and it means that the more you think positively, the stronger those neural pathways become, making it easier to stay motivated and resilient over time (Lazar et al., 2005).

If you constantly tell yourself, "I’m not good enough," or "I’ll never be able to do that," your brain starts to believe it. But if you flip the script and focus on your potential, your brain will rewire itself for confidence and growth.

In this research, Lazar and colleagues used MRI to examine the brains of 20 experienced Insight meditation practitioners compared to 15 non-meditators. They found that the meditators had increased cortical thickness in regions associated with attention, interoception, and sensory processing, such as the prefrontal cortex and right anterior insula. These findings suggest that meditation practice may induce structural brain changes.

"We still have the right to dream, and our dreams are still within our reach. But as we journey through life, we must consciously overcome our judgments and kick our fears from past experiences in the head, embracing our own awesomeness. Whatever that may look like for each of us."

Those wise words from Jen Scincero really struck a chord with me.

Embrace the Messy Middle

When I had to give up my lifelong dream of becoming an Olympic athlete in cross-country skiing, it felt like my world had crumbled. I lost my outlet for taking risks, for going all in.

So, I packed my bags, left my small hometown of 30,000 people in northern Finland, and moved to the bustling capital of Norway, Oslo. I didn’t speak the language, I was broke, and I had no place to stay. But you know what? I went for it anyway. Terrified yet exhilarated, I took a massive risk, and while it wasn’t easy, I made it happen. And I loved it.

Young MJ enjoying running 800m

Training Your Mindset

Here's what I've discovered: When you embrace your true self, speak your truth, and silence those pesky old beliefs that were probably implanted in your mind during childhood, the sky becomes your limit. As human beings, we're barely scratching the surface of our true potential. As a young adult, I was fortunate enough to lead a life where I took risks.

Of course, I went through periods where I felt completely lost and alone, even battling bouts of depression. But those tough times were necessary for my growth and transformation into the person I am today. After all, diamonds are formed under immense pressure, right? Understanding that the tough times are there to guide helped me to train my mindset.

Stop the Party Crashers

Are you tired of those pesky self-limiting thoughts sneaking into your mind like uninvited party crashers? It’s time to kick them to the curb. I like to think of self-doubt as the obnoxious drunk uncle at a wedding—loud, opinionated, and not invited to the dance floor of my mind.

Start by asking yourself the ultimate question: Why the heck do you want to chase your dreams? If you can’t answer that, it’s like trying to run a marathon in stilettos. Get clear on your "why" and you’ll have the fuel to keep going when the going gets tough.

Thriving in the Ring of Fire

Life will throw curveballs your way—more than a clumsy pitcher in a Sunday little league game. But here’s the thing: every curveball is a chance to grow. Every struggle, every setback, every face-plant on the trail is a stepping stone to becoming the badass you were meant to be.

Break those seemingly insurmountable obstacles into bite-sized pieces. Tackle one hill at a time, and before you know it, you’ll have conquered the mountain.

Here's something for you to tackle right off the bat. Finding your why. It's a free download workbook that will get you started.

Confronting the Shit Hit the Fan- Moments

When shit hits the fan, you have a choice: fold or fight. Those moments of chaos, when you feel like everything is falling apart, are the ones that define you. They’re your chance to prove to yourself that you can handle the heat.

I like to start my day with a solid 10-minute meditation, usually with the Calm app. It sets the tone, builds my mental resilience, and gives me the clarity to tackle whatever comes my way. Because when the fan hits, you want to be the person who stands tall, not the one who crumbles.

Programs like MOMentum are great for building that physical and mental toughness, helping you dig deep when the going gets tough. They’re designed to push you outside your comfort zone and help you find that fire within.

For a more personalized approach that combines physical and mental training, Thrive is my 1:1 coaching program where we dig deep into mindset, break through barriers, and build the resilience you need to reach your full potential as an athlete and a human.

Just Do the Warm-Up: Science Says It Works

Starting is often the hardest part. But here’s the good news: even a brief warm-up can kickstart your motivation and mood. Dr. Kelly McGonigal, in her book The Joy of Movement, highlights that as little as three minutes of physical activity can increase our energy and boost our mood. This initial movement triggers the release of endorphins and other neurochemicals that make us feel good, setting a positive tone for the rest of the workout. 

So, next time you’re feeling unmotivated, commit to just three minutes of movement. Chances are, once you start, you’ll want to keep going.

The Mind's Gatekeeper

Our minds are like bouncers at a fancy nightclub, letting in only what they deem worthy. Stop feeding your brain garbage. Carry a book with you, listen to podcasts, and fill your mind with the good stuff.

Be your mind’s gatekeeper, and don’t let the trash talk in.

Be your mind's Gatekeeper and do not allow garbage to go in. MJ

Train for Life, Not Just Races

Remember, the goal isn’t just to crush races and set PRs. It’s to train for life, to build the mental and physical resilience that will carry you through the hard times. You’re not just training for the finish line—you’re training for the long haul.

So, if you’re tired of playing small, if you’re ready to break through your own limitations and become the hero of your own story, now’s the time to move. Find your fire, embrace the challenge, and start living the life you were meant to live.

Life isn't happening to you; it's happening for you. Tony Robbins

Embracing the power of firsts—my first marathon, first ride in the desert, first open water swim, first triathlon. Moments you never get back, but never forget.

Ready to Dive Deeper?

If you’re looking to build sustainable habits and integrate mental training into your fitness journey, consider joining Thrive—our personalized 1:1 coaching program. We focus on both the physical and psychological aspects of training, helping you overcome barriers and achieve your goals.

If you like science, grit, and real-life mindset hacks, consider joining my Substack where I dig deeper into the mental side of performance and living a full, powerful life. You’ll get exclusive insights, personal stories, and practical tips you can actually use.

If you’re serious about ditching self-doubt and finding your fire, then grab my Mindset Reveal Workbook. It’s packed with practical exercises, reflection prompts, and mindset challenges designed to push you out of your comfort zone and help you break through those mental barriers. Whether you’re struggling to silence your inner critic or just need a mental reset, this workbook will guide you from stuck to unstoppable.

Download your free copy and start rewriting your story today.

Module 1 Homework All Tired Mom's Fitness Method.pdf

Download PDF • 159KB

With fire and grit,

References:

Dweck, Carol S. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Random House, 2006

McGonigal, Kelly. The Joy of Movement: How Exercise Helps Us Find Happiness, Hope, Connection, and Courage. Avery, 2019.

Lazar SW, Kerr CE, Wasserman RH, Gray JR, Greve DN, Treadway MT, McGarvey M, Quinn BT, Dusek JA, Benson H, Rauch SL, Moore CI, Fischl B. Meditation experience is associated with increased cortical thickness. Neuroreport. 2005 Nov 28;16(17):1893-7. doi: 10.1097/01.wnr.0000186598.66243.19. PMID: 16272874; PMCID: PMC1361002.